In January, many were shocked to hear the news of Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonet’s divorce. The announcement implied the pandemic contributed to the decline of their marriage.
It likely comes as no surprise that a two year+ pandemic has many thinking they are no longer compatible with their spouse. From the reports, it seems Jason and Lisa believed they needed to pursue different avenues.
How many of us have thought the same thing at least once over the last two years?
Believe it or not, celebrities are real people, just like the rest of us (I know, shocking!) Underneath the fame and the fortune, they have the same issues we do. In fact, the same 6 pillars holding up our marriages, making them extraordinary, are the same 6 pillars they need as well.
Without the 6 Pillars of Intimacy, celebrity marriages fail just like non-celebrity marriages.
In reading the celebrity gossip articles around this highly publicized divorce, some of the cracked pillars are easy to identify. But why now? It seems to be the “New Year, New You” mentality. The holiday season is over and the amount of stress is just too much this year.
The 6 Pillars of Intimacy:
- Emotional
- Physical
- Recreational
- Spiritual
- Financial
- Sexual
It may have been too much after two years of a pandemic lifestyle.
This trend of being unable to handle the stress started almost immediately after the lockdowns began. In fact, according to Legaltemplates.net1, legal separations were up 57% in April, just 2-4 weeks after most states issued lockdown orders, compared to February of that same year. And Lexology.com2 reports that one law firm noted the number of divorce inquiries increased by 122% in the latter half of 2020. Insanely high increase.
Second, Jason and Lisa spent a considerable amount of time apart because of his work schedule and her lack of interest in being on location with him. For them, it wasn’t about spending too much time together, but that they were spending less time together.
Less time connecting with each other.
When couples, both celebrity and non-celebrity, do not spend time together, several pillars can crack: Emotional, Physical, Recreational, Spiritual, and Sexual. That’s five of the six pillars! Many couples also faced significant financial strains on their marriage when one or both of them got sick or lost their job-this means that all 6 are impacted.
When a marriage experiences cracks in multiple pillars, it can become extremely difficult to support the marriage; much less make it extraordinary.
You and your spouse need to be intentional with each of your six pillars.
For many, the pandemic found you at home. A lot. This may have been exciting for some. Until it wasn’t anymore. You spent a lot of time together. But that time was forced time and not necessarily quality. When circumstances require people to spend this amount of time together, even spouses, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that you’re on the same team.
The little things become big things.
Perhaps you pulled away, focusing on different pursuits instead of taking an active part in activities together (recreational intimacy), holding each other’s hands and hugging (physical intimacy), praying and attending services together (spiritual intimacy), starting quality conversations beyond the pandemic topics (emotional intimacy), and even having sex together (sexual intimacy).
Even if you wanted to do these things with your spouse, chances are the opportunities available were slim to none. So the cracks deepened. When you don’t have a solid foundation and strong pillars, any new situation, especially a lockdown, can highlight all those cracks.
What was supposed to be temporary in the beginning became something prolonged and difficult.
The 6 Pillars of Intimacy is that framework for these unexpected, unprecedented situations. With this framework, your marriage will withstand the challenges that come with work separations, illness, crises, job loss, and, yes, even lockdowns.
Returning to Jason and Lisa’s marriage, we can see the large quantity of time spent apart, the lack of mutual interest in the other’s pursuits, and the strains of the pandemic. Yes, they are celebrities, but their marriages need the same things ours do.
So in reality? These celebrities are just like us.
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1Moric, Mollie. “US Divorce Statistics during Covid-19.” Legal Templates, 14 Dec. 2020, https://legaltemplates.net/resources/personal-family/divorce-rates-covid-19/.
2Hatley, Emma. “Emma Hatley Appears on Sky News to Explain Why Divorce Rates Have Increased during the Pandemic.” Stewarts, 14 Jan. 2022, https://www.stewartslaw.com/news/emma-hatley-appears-on-sky-news-to-explain-why-divorce-rates-have-increased-during-pandemic/.
