Labor Day weekend is like a siren in my head proclaiming that the holidays are on the way. Don’t kid yourself people – it may still be 90 degrees – but Halloween is around the corner. Then Thanksgiving. Then Christmas. My ten-year old daughters started planning their Halloween costumes last weekend. They prefer to create their own costumes, and I’m quite happy to avoid the pop-up Halloween stores and the inevitable arguments about why most “tween” girl costumes are too skimpy and inappropriate.
Halloween
Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday, both because it’s a day for our family to count our abundant blessings, and because it demands so little from me. Unlike Christmas, it does not involve weeks of social obligations, manic shopping for gifts, and extreme house decorating. Just pull out the Publix Pilgrim salt and pepper shakers, put a ceramic cornucopia on the table, and boom – you’re done. It seems to me that every year Christmas tries to encroach just a little bit more on Thanksgiving. If retailers had their way, Thanksgiving would be renamed “Black Friday Eve.” Like many Central Floridians, my husband and I grew up in other states and have no family in Florida. He usually has to work on Thanksgiving Day. Although some years I cook Thanksgiving dinner anyway, it’s usually unappreciated by my daughters and reheated for my husband. Our Thanksgiving traditions are very flexible. One year the girls and I watched the Macy’s Parade and then headed to Winter Park to take the Scenic Boat Tour. It was a fabulous day, chilly enough for jackets on the lake, and perfect for hot chocolate after the boat ride. Last year friends included us at their Thanksgiving table.
Thanksgiving Day – Winter Park Scenic Boat Tour
This year there are 28 days between Thanksgiving and Christmas Day. I have friends who radiate joy when the calendar page turns to December and who transform their homes into life-sized Pinterest boards. I’m … well … the opposite of that. And I’m not alone. Pick up almost any magazine in October and you’ll find at least one article on coping with the stress of the holidays. Last night I googled “percentages of people depressed over the holidays” and even WebMD had a topic called “Emotional Survival Guide for the Holidays.”
Although I may sound like Scrooge, there truly are many things that I do love about Christmas. Over the years, I’ve tried to keep my focus on traditions that have meaning for my family, and the rest – in the words we’ve all heard too many times this summer – just “Let It Go.” That’s a lot easier said than done, particularly if you are a pleaser by nature. The expectations of friends and family can be the nemesis of holiday zen. I’m working hard on politely saying no to the things that I don’t want to do in December. I’ve found “no” works best with the very briefest of explanations. “Thanks, but no, that doesn’t work for us,” said with a smile or written with a smiley face is difficult for anyone to refute.
Christmas Eve Night
Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t found a way to take the stress out of December. I just try to change the source of the stress and anxiety from the expectations of others to the expectations that I create for myself. It’s a much more enjoyable stress.
