Floating through Summer’s Chaos

Summers are amazing! In theory, they are a time to relax and live in the moment, while spending more time with loved ones enjoying the little moments. Unfortunately, I see for many couples, this beautiful theory blown out of the water by even more hectic schedules than usual, visitors from out of town and stressful family vacations. As a family therapist, I hear time and time again, “What happened to the good old days? A time when life was easier and (fill in the blank)…..” Yes, you can go down that route, but in the long run it won’t fix any of your stressors.

Would you like to keep barely treading water or would you prefer to float in this pool we call summer? Here are 4 tips to make it through the summer floating.

Don’t isolate
For many of us, when times get tough we isolate ourselves. Yes, during the height of the issue, getting a few minutes to yourself may be critical to your sanity, but in the long run most of us will benefit from utilizing our resources, i.e., significant others, grandparents, basically anyone going through similar situations. Therefore, make it a priority to go to yoga class with your neighbor who is also having a “crazy” summer. Get a sitter and meet your significant other for lunch to enjoy some of the “good old days”.  Knowing you are not going through this alone can be imperative to not only normalizing how you are feeling, but also finding solutions to your pressures.

Put some time into your relationship
Again, during hectic schedules many of us spend time only focusing on the necessities. As a therapist and a wife, I can tell you, your relationship should always be a priority! In fact, a good relationship may be the only thing keeping you afloat during difficult times. Make it a point to spend time together daily, strengthening your relationship by focusing on listening and caring about the other person. It may sound absurd, but research has shown many relationships fizzle due to lack of kindness. Therefore, being more active, affectionate and caring in a relationship can allow it to be a more enjoyable and fruitful partnership.

Take some time for yourself
Don’t let summer end without enjoying it for yourself! Yes, many of us enjoy the activities we participate in with our family, but if you don’t always find yourself able to enjoy the moment, that’s ok and very normal. Don’t be hard on yourself. Just make it a point to participate in some activities you are able to enjoy the little moments of either by yourself or with a significant other, friends, a specific child, all of your children, your immediate family or your extended family.

Ask for help
Many of us women find it difficult to ask for help because it makes us appear weak. I can say full heartedly this is not true. The strongest people I meet, know their strengths/weaknesses very well and they know when to get help. Unfortunately, lack of money and family assistance can also affect if we ask for help, but there are some alternative choices to the normal babysitter solution. Mom’s may find a much needed break with the assistance of a mom’s day out program and/or babysitting co-ops where mothers can swap care duties with relatives and friends.

Overall, try to remember this too shall pass. Try to enjoy yourself! We are almost into August, soon you will be looking back at summer longingly. Remind yourself of this during hectic times. Focus on the good and work to alleviate what you can of the stress. Happy floating!