Make a Photo Book She’ll Love to Hate

Do you hate candid pictures of me? Because I certainly do. I have horse teeth and my gums show too much when I smile. I have no chin in profile (although my 11 year old punk son recently called it a “wattle”…in public). My hair is thinning. I slouch. That outfit doesn’t look as good on me as I think it does. Just stop photographing me, mmkay?

#ICan’tBeTheOnlyOne

If you flip through the photos on my phone or the family camera, you will find very few of me. Not even selfies. I would argue it’s mostly because I am taking the pictures rather than posing for them. But if I’m being honest, it’s also because I delete the ones I don’t like. Why would I keep an unattractive picture of myself? That’s foolish, right?

Or so I thought.

I was recently lucky enough to order a soft photo book from Artifact Uprising. We have always vacationed well as a family, and 2015 was no exception. This seemed like a great time to gather all of those trips into a keepsake, documenting our memories from Texas to Rhode Island. Unlike most photo books I’ve used before, these have a minimum of 40 pages (and starting as low as $18)! Instead of being conservative and trying to select as few photos as possible to save money, I was actually scrambling for content! This proved to be an eye-opening experience.

In searching for extra pictures I may have missed, I decided to check out the photo stream at home, which includes my husband’s cell phone pictures. When I scrolled to the vacation timelines, I was taken aback by what I found. I found pictures of me. Pictures of me enjoying vacation with my kids. Pictures of me relaxed, laughing, engaged in an extraordinary everyday life. Ugly pictures. No really, ya’ll. The teeth, the gums, the chin, the scalp. New things to dislike, like how my face scrunches when I squint in the sun, or how my cross-body bag squishes my belly fat the wrong way, or that dopey open-mouthed look I have when I’m watching something interesting. Man, I seriously disliked me in these pictures. But I realized that I actually like these pictures. Because they show that he loves looking at me. He snapped these shots when I wasn’t paying attention. He didn’t turn the phone around and show me, because he knows I’d make him delete them. He was watching and cherishing. And – although I hate to admit this – that really is the way I look. All those things I’d love to change aren’t changing. That’s me. And though I might not be so keen on it, what a shame it would be if my kids grew up without any memories of how their mom really looked.

I treasure pictures of my own mom when she was my age, when she was still figuring out this parenting thing and was a joyful young mother. She was breathtakingly gorgeous. I’m sure there are pictures taken over the years that show her true beauty but that have “accidentally” found their way into the trash pile. That makes me sad. I wish there were more pictures of her, of us, in everyday life. Now that I have the ability to truly record those moments every single day with my smart phone, perhaps I should ensure my kids get that. More authentic me. But y’all, that is hard to do. It’s hard to intentionally drag a picture you don’t like into a photo book.

So here’s what we’re going to do together to solve this problem. Friend, I want you to Share this post with the husband, child or friend of a mom you love. We moms aren’t going to do our own projects justice. So we’re going to have each others’ backs and talk the men in our lives into memorializing their beautiful woman with pictures she’ll hate. The ones she doesn’t know you took. Ones she’s forgotten are in that photo folder, in a texting thread, or tagged somewhere on Facebook.

#TheRealHer

Have you been given this challenge by a friend? Awesome! Let’s get this done before you lose your nerve. Head over to Artifact Uprising and start a photo book. Think about how to package your project: By year? By vacation? By theme?

Like I said, the page minimum changes the game. For my book, it meant that I could include those inanimate pictures I so enjoy taking to capture the essence of a place, even when I’m not photographing my people. The little shell stuck in the boardwalk. The juicy cherries on top of my drink. An autumn tree. These pictures never make the cut when I’m trying to keep down my page count. But now I’ve recorded even the little things that make these places special. I didn’t say you had to make the book about only her. Start with those magical photos of her, then use other pictures to give it context. If you help her relive the moment that made her smile, she’ll appreciate that smile. I guarantee it.

I also wasn’t afraid to GO BIG. Artifact Uprising offers a jaw-dropping “full bleed” – a page that is all picture, no border. Looking back, I wish I’d done more of these. They really are something special. I used these for the showstopper pictures – the ones of all 4 of us, or a broad landscape worth capturing in detail. I haven’t used this in past photo books and have really been missing out.

My kids think my smart phone is surgically connected to my hand. My husband calls me a cyborg. I’m never without my phone. Although I’ll admit I spend a little too much time on Facebook, more often than not, I’m taking pictures. I love taking pictures. I fancy myself an amateur photographer, but I really just enjoy capturing the moment. But here’s the thing – they usually stay stuck on my phone. I recently decided that my Droid’s lackluster performance may be driven by the fact that 80% of my phone’s storage was taken up by pictures. I downloaded 5,000 pictures to my home computer. FIVE THOUSAND precious moments were kept on this little device. I nearly grieved them and had to look them up on the computer every half hour for the rest of the night to assure myself they were there. And yet, as much as these photos apparently mean to me, when was the last time I looked at them? And more importantly, when was the last time I shared them? The best part of pictures for me is reliving the memories. Why would I want to do that alone?

A photo book enables us to all relive the moments together. There is something magical about snuggling up together and flipping through the pages of your life’s story. Our kids have traveled the country since they were toddlers. Sometimes they need to be reminded of their own adventures. My son was 4 when we took a hot air balloon ride. My daughter was 6 when we explored Ruby Falls & Rock City in Tennessee. They just don’t remember. Even our magnificent cruises fade from their memory after a short while. What a joy it is to remind them of all the fun they’ve had. Family albums used to be standard in every house. Now you’re hard pressed to find anyone that can pull out a stack of pictures to brighten a gloomy day. Other than #tbt, when was the last time you really strolled down memory lane?

Give the woman you love a lane to stroll. Take some time to round up the pictures YOU love of her. Don’t just print a copy she can conveniently misplace. Blend them into other precious memories in a book that tells your whole story, so she will always and forever know that she’s beautiful in your eyes.