Mentally Adjusting to Motherhood

I’m a “goals-and-task” type of person, and I spend a lot of time thinking about how to be successful and how not to fall off track. This keeps me on an ultimate high – until I forget how to just relax and enjoy life. Mentally adjusting to motherhood has been a huge battle for me. 

You too?

I’ve often tell moms that it’s so important to have “ ”. That statement is easier said than done. I have had to accept help, and I tell you what. It benefited me mentally, physically and emotionally.

Dealing with Mental Fatigue

So what makes us tired? We devote ALL of our time making life seem simple, yet we find very little time to receive the proper treatment to keep our minds and body aligned. Looking back, almost 18 months ago, I cared for my son, worried about my long-distance relationship, struggled with working the night shift, all while assisting others. The “me time” just seemed to never come around, not because the opportunity wasn’t available, but because I didn’t make it a priority to have the time to myself.

The long nights became depressing days, and all morning long I would cry and I couldn’t figure out why. I wasn’t unhappy. My brain was simply tired from making 300 positive decisions a day and needed a break. I was SUPER tired. It came to a point when I decided that this superwoman really needed a SUPER break!

Living apart from my child’s father, I have been forced by time to curtail many of my emotional indulgences.

What I know now is that while my job is to be successful, provide, nurture and care for my child, my mental health is essential to my happiness. I realized that my life doesn’t have to be consumed with me being a superwoman. It’s important to learn how to overcome weariness by seeking help and not putting too much pressure on thoughts that really don’t matter.

Here are some things that are helping me transition to be stress-free.

Reaction: I think before I react.  

If I am asleep you can expect to receive a message from me AFTER I wake up. If it’s NOT urgent, I have learned that it doesn’t need an urgent response. I stopped waking up in the middle of the night to text people back, knowing I have to be up in 2 hours for work. I stopped telling people that I could go out on the days that I work and stopped traveling on days when I felt extremely tired. I think about what to say before I blurt out my availability- often feeling obligated to help others.

Get Help:

I no longer feel needy just because I decided to ask for help for once. I have always been self-sufficient and independent, and I carry those same traits with me as a mother. I hate to feel like I’m bothering someone, so I don’t ask often. However, if you realize that it takes a village to raise a child, you can accept help a lot more.

Acceptance:  

I no longer let the feeling of not being able to do certain things bring me down. I have always been A HARD WORKER, wanting to be the best at what I do, so I always over-commit. I had my son and I had a really hard time adjusting to not being able to go the extra mile. I have accepted what I can and cannot do. Now, I don’t feel ashamed anymore to say NO. I was beating myself up over a situation that just needed acceptance.

Me Time:

Most importantly I’m including “me time”.  I love on me more and speak positive words if I’m feeling down or overwhelmed. My time doesn’t just consist of downtime with the girls but mental preparation and spiritual time with God and myself; sitting in the room for 15 minutes and allowing my mind to create its own focus for the day. I sit on the couch all day and watch TV, read anything to give a minute of tranquility.