Merriam-Webster defines SPORTSMANSHIP as fair play, respect for opponents, and polite behavior by someone who is competing in a sport or other competition.
Parents and coaches – you don’t need a mirror to see your reflection. Just watch your kids and your players, and I can guarantee you that you will see your reflection. For better or for worse…
My girls started playing organized sports in kindergarten. For the first few years, their team sports were the “we don’t officially keep score” variety. In third grade they started playing lacrosse in a more competitive league. My daughter G has moved on to a different sport, but E has continued to play lacrosse. I like that she’s playing a team sport. She’s learning responsibility and invaluable life lessons at an early age by showing up for practices, trying her best, supporting her teammates, respecting and listening to her coaches, and learning to win and lose gracefully.
Last weekend her lacrosse team was short a few players for their Saturday morning game. Her coaches borrowed players from another team, a common practice at the middle school level and something that they have done before. But this time was very different; the borrowed players took the field but they did not play. They let the opposing team run up and down the field without trying to score or defend. Looking through photos of the game, one girl defending our goal had the butt of her lacrosse stick in the dirt, leaning on it like a crutch. It was quite obvious to anyone watching that these girls were deliberately not trying.
Our players were crushed and confused, not so much by the loss, but by the behavior of the girls who had agreed to play. “Why would the do that?” E asked after the game. Here’s what I think. Their coach condoned their behavior by doing nothing. The players’ parents condoned their behavior by doing nothing. Had I been their coach, I would have stopped the game, talked to my players, and benched them if it continued. Had it been my child, I would have had her pulled from the game and gone home.
Even worse, some of the opposing team parents, who were well aware of the situation, sat in their sideline chairs laughing and making snide comments. They set quite the example for their children, who I am sure have seen this type of behavior before. Their children have watched and learned. I’m speculating, but I bet they all shared a laugh together on the drive home.
In a way, I’m glad this happened because it gave us a perfect segue to talk about sportsmanship, honoring your commitments, and doing your best. It was also a glaring reminder that children take their behavior cues from the adults in their lives. They learn just as much from our inactions as they do from our actions.
