The Anniversary Box: A Gift Idea

In 1979, my parents said their “I do’s” at the tender ages of 19 and 22. Fast forward 35 years to 2014, and we have a problem. That problem is their 35th wedding anniversary.

My sister and I wanted to do something special for them. Something they’d remember. Something to mark the occasion and to show how thankful we are to have had a front row seat to their love for one another over the years.

We considered a surprise soiree. We considered a quiet dinner party. We considered skywriting. There was an issue, though: mom and dad have never really wanted a big to-do for their anniversary. They consider it one of those occasions that’s really just for them. They don’t want cards, they don’t want parties, they just want each other. Everybody now: awwwwww.

What we wanted to give them was more of that. Some way to help them think back over the years and relive the various seasons of their marriage. Some way to remember what it felt like to be married in 1979 and 1988 and 1993 and 2001. We wanted to help them think back over the long arc of their 35 year history as a married couple.

But we couldn’t do it alone! We haven’t been here for the whole thing. And to us, our parents are mom & dad rather than Patti & Glenn. We needed to get other folks involved. And it hit us:

On their 35th anniversary, let’s present them with 35 messages, letters, and notes from people who’ve watched them grow together over the years!

The result was lovely. A success! And a beautiful way to celebrate a couple by showering them with love from friends. If you’d like to give it a whirl, here’s what we did:

Step 1: We knew we were aiming for 35 messages, but it wasn’t an exact science. We made a list of family members, friends, and loved ones who’ve been a part of our parents’ lives over the years. We started by thinking of people who were there on their wedding day. People they’ve known since high school. Family members who’ve been a part of their lives for years. Then we thought of people from different “seasons” of their marriage–friends they made when they had young kids, friends they made chaperoning youth group trips, friends they’ve enjoyed being grandparents with now. (note: if I were starting over, I’d spend a LOT more time on this step! Our list forgot MANY people that we thought of AFTER the project was complete).

Step 2: With our list of possible contributors, we sent an email explaining the project and asking the following:

On their 35th anniversary, we want to surprise them with 35 notes from friends and family remarking on their marriage, some portion of their history together, or some special memory of these past 35 years. We know you’ve got a perspective on their marriage we couldn’t possibly capture without your participation. What could you write about? Here are some ideas:

–recollect what you remember of their wedding day

–describe how you’ve seen them grow together in their 35+ years as a couple

–pick a year (1980? 1991? 2003?) and recreate it for them. Paint the scene and help them remember what it was like

–describe a moment when you knew they were perfect for each other

–have they been influential in YOUR marriage? Tell them about it!

–help them take a walk down memory lane by capturing some of your favorite memories together over the years

–write down your hopes/prayers/dreams for their NEXT 35 years

–describe a unique quality about their relationship that has always made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside

–or just pick a great card and sign your name 🙂

We included a date we’d need the contributions by and a physical address and an email address where contributions could be submitted.

Step 3: Next, we gathered lots of letters and cards and messages. My sister chose a lovely box that they could keep as a memento and packaged the letters inside. Since the exact number of contributions didn’t equal 35, we added some discussion questions and activities designed to help them reminisce too.

Step 4: And when we handed the box over, they were in awe! There was so much love captured in the project before they even read a word of the messages inside. The box stood as a physical artifact noting their marriage has mattered to people over 35 years.

Mom & dad chose a time to go through the box together on their anniversary. From what I hear, they laughed and they cried and,  most importantly, they remembered some of the seasons of their history together.

So if you’re stumped on an anniversary gift, give the anniversary box a whirl and give your parents something to enjoy together. And hurry… I need ideas for a 40th anniversary gift!