When it seems like EVERYONE else you know is enjoying romantic getaways, chocolate-filled hearts, delivered long-stemmed roses, and sentimental cards—what is Valentine’s Day to a single mom who doesn’t have a partner and who does have two little girls who don’t have a dad?
Let’s face it: Most of us fall into one camp or the other when it comes to Valentine’s Day. You’re either a sentimental sap who would be devastated if your partner didn’t wrap it up in pink and red cellophane and tie it with a bow, seal it with a kiss, and deliver it with a fluffy gorilla who snorts “Be Mine” when you hug its tummy. OR, you’re on the side of ignoring the holiday altogether for reasons that range from a general anti-commercialism policy to a distaste for pre-packaged, prescribed timetables and methods for expressing love. But some of us moms fall into another category. We’re the ones who are single moms with no partner and two little girls with no dad.
We don’t really get to choose one of the other Valentine’s Day camps, and our kids are surrounded by messages that tell them they’re neither loved nor lovable if none of the romantic stuff above happens to them.
As an adult, I have coping skills to deal with the inadequacy that Valentine’s Day can make me feel. But every year I am also the one who has to deal with the tears when the girls’ friends’ dads spoil them with hugs, kisses, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, and bouquets of sweet-smelling daisies. And coping skills for those moments are hard to come by for them AND for me when there really aren’t any great solutions to the situation. But as with almost any parenting dilemma, dedicating time and attention to your kiddos almost always takes away the blues.
So what’s a girl to do when she’s got no boo? I recommend spending some time together on something that doesn’t cost a lot of money and that doesn’t remind any of you of the missing partner/parent. Here are just a few ideas:
1. Letterbox! Letterboxing has been a really fun mom-daughter bonding time for us. Plus, it’s an activity that gets you outside AND fosters creativity and problem-solving skills.
2. Go to “the wood park.” This particular park and playground is still a favorite, even though the girls are now 11 and 13: Community Playground. There are hiding places, a trail around a 
small lake, exercise stations, and decent bathrooms. They ALWAYS want to introduce their friends to it.
3. Try fort-building under the dining room table with snacks, Netflix or DVDs, good books, and lots of pillows. You’ll have to watch out for invading cats and dogs who want to get in on the fun in this space, but it’s otherwise safe, snuggly, and intimate in a little bit quirky, but positive way.
So single moms with pre-teen girls who are becoming keenly and daily aware of cultural partnering expectations: fear not. Although you can’t replace the missing partner or dad, you can instill a sense of wonder, creativity, adventure, admiration for each other, and, especially on Valentine’s Day, LOVE. 
I love this so much, Amy. I was raised by a single Mom and even though my Dad played an active role in our lives, I always associated Valentine’s Day with the love that I received from my parents; not from the boys I wanted as boyfriends. Each year my Mom made us “Valentine’s Day” care packages and even at 29 years old, she still ships off those boxes and fills them with over-the-top Valentine-y treats, gifts and candy. I look forward to it every year and had college roommates who were so envious that I got those boxes. So cool that you’ve started traditions like this with your girls! As a daughter on the other end of that, they will grow to appreciate it more than you know. And it may inspire them to do the same with their kids. You rock!
Thanks, Brittany. Here’s an extra heart for your Valentine’s Day care box: ♥