{editors note: Morgan is our advice column guru. She is a stay at home mom AND a marriage and family therapist. In her professional work, she works with moms and the challenges they face. Many of her columns will come from an angle of providing advice similar to what she would share if you were sitting in her office, yet oddly enough the same kind of advice she would give her mommy friends.}
The weather is only going to get hotter, which means Florida summer is upon us. As mothers this means daily activities are going to be ramping up. This year let’s get proactive! Summers are stressful. We can circumvent stress by focusing on… us. That’s right! Give yourself permission to pamper yourself with some self-care on a daily basis.
I know, this sounds easier said than done. The fact is in today’s world mothers are full of guilt. We feel guilty for everything and we need to give ourselves permission not to! We need to give ourselves permission to focus on ourselves and our needs and not feel guilty about it. Research has proven “me time” in any type of relationship is vital. That includes in a mother child relationship! Focusing on us, not in a selfish way, but in an imperative way to be able to be the best we can be for ourselves and our loved ones. Overall, always remember taking care of yourself makes you a better parent and spouse!
Make a list of your “me time” activities
As a parent we often go along with activities that our family members enjoy. These activities may or may not actually strike a chord with us, personally. Make lists of activities you would like to participate in under these categories: by myself (read a book at the beach, take a bubble bath, go for a run), with friends (grab a coffee, get a massage, go to a mommy day out group), at home (take a splash in the Jacuzzi, watch Scandal, meditate, have your best friend over for girl’s night, cook) and in the community (get a pedicure, go to Barnes and Noble, shop at Ann Taylor Loft, go for a hike). As you can see some of the activities may overlap to multiple categories, but it is important to have activities you can do in all four categories. Remember self-care can involve basically anything you enjoy that helps you to regroup and be stress free for the period of time you are participating in it.
Schedule the activities
As mothers we usually schedule everyone else’s lives out to the T, but many times we forget to list our own activities. Schedule your “me time” and make them a priority! As a rule of thumb, schedule at least 20 minutes or more a day for your “me time”.
Follow through daily
You deserve “me time” every day. Remember that! That means no matter if the day is good or bad, you follow through with your “me time”. As we all know with kids, plans can change in a moment’s notice and our scheduled activity could become a no go. In those circumstances, go to your activity list and pick some other activity you can participate in at home. For instance, if you have a pedicure “me time” scheduled and your kids unexpectedly are home with colds instead of camp or daycare, change your activity to reading a book, even if that means you have to wait until they go to bed to enjoy your activity. I know life happens and there will be days where even reading a book won’t be possible, but the point here is to consciously prioritize your “me time” into an everyday event! Make it a habit and enjoy the process.
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