By January, I will be an aunt to three little peanuts! THREE!
It’s hard to believe that it is possible. It’s a sign that I’m getting older and I am here for it. This is one sign of aging that I am fully embracing. I’m working to accept some of the other signs, but I digress…
Becoming an aunt changed my perspective on motherhood in a couple of ways, but first and foremost it taught me to be flexible. Flexible with our schedule. Flexible with how we spend our time. Flexible with my ideas about how any particular day should go. Flexible with my heart.
It taught me just how big my heart could grow.
In the early months (or was it years? It’s all a blur) of motherhood, I felt so stuck in our schedule. I was desperate for control because I knew the outcomes if we stuck to the routine. Straying from routine meant an uncertain day. I feared the unknown so deeply in those days I lived by that schedule.
Maybe I was experiencing some undiagnosed postpartum anxiety.
Maybe it was just how I dealt with the newness of motherhood.
Whatever the reason, I was determined to know the outcome of a day, which meant never straying from this schedule I had in my head.
Becoming an aunt tore me out of that mentality and pushed me to test the boundaries of our routine.
I suddenly wanted our days with our nephew to accommodate him, not us.
I wanted our time spent with him and his parents to fit their needs, not ours.
I broke out of our schedule and our routine for this baby that I loved with the fierceness as if he were my own. And you know what? Nothing terrible happened. I lived. We survived a routine-less day. I rolled with the punches of the day. And I survived the day.
I never realized just how far-reaching the unconditional love my heart had to offer would extend.
I love my own kids unconditionally. My body grew, expanded, and changed to bring their life into the world — my love for them was a given; even before I knew I was pregnant for the first time and they were just an idea — I loved them.
Loving my nephew feels identical. I didn’t go through the growing or expanding to bring him into the world, but there is nothing that I wouldn’t do to make him happy, to make him smile. Seeing him with my girls and the love between them is a joy I never knew was possible.
He is an extension of the sister I gained the day I married my husband.
He is an extension of the brother-in-law I gained when he married my new little sister.
He is an extension of the family who brought me into their fold without question over a decade ago.
My nephew taught me that unconditional love is easy to give.
And, if my gut is correct, we will welcome another sweet little guy into our lives in October, and my heart will grow to extend more love to that baby. Spending Thanksgiving with that new baby (boy or girl, I truly don’t care either way) in my arms sounds like heaven.
Then, I will be a happy mess for a third time when our niece is born in January. Our plans for spring break revolve around getting our hands on that sweet little girl. I cannot wait to be an aunt to a little girl.
Embracing Aunt-hood
Aunt-hood (is that a word?) has taught me to give love freely and without limits. It’s taught me that in order to make the most of my time with my nephew, I need to be flexible with how a day can unfold. When I was a mom of newborns, I lived by our eat, sleep, poop, and play schedule. I was never great at recovering from the moments that threw us off schedule. But I have learned to roll with the punches life throws our way as the girls have gotten older, and it’s translated into our time with our nephew.
I’m less stressed when days go long because I see them love each other and play together.
I’m less worried when we eat dinner late because I see them eating together around our dining room table.
I’m less worked up when the day’s plan needs altering to accommodate changes because it means more time together as a family.
My little family of four is better when I’m less rigid and more flexible.
Maybe I’ve just changed over time.
Or maybe that little boy taught me a lesson about my own journey in motherhood that I desperately needed to learn.
