“It gets easier.”, they say.
“She won’t even remember.”, they mention.
“It’s always harder on you than it is on them.”, they reassure.
I have been a Mother for almost 15 months and while I deal with Mommy Guilt regularly, I find that I reallllly struggle with the whole going out of town and leaving my baby behind thing. This is a part of motherhood that many of my friends left out. No one told me how crappy I would feel not putting my sweet girl to bed EVERY night. How, even if I made plans to enjoy myself, I would still hide out in a bathroom dropping tears and feeling like a horrible Mother for leaving my baby.
But you know what? I’m over feeling terrible about having some kind of life outside of Motherhood. When I gave birth, I didn’t lose myself. My heart got bigger but my passions didn’t get smaller. While it’s true that I can’t do it ALL, I can still do…something.
We tend to forget that Motherhood doesn’t have one face. It really is a multi-facted role and there is more than one way to a Mother. No way is better than the other. I have come to accept the fact that in order for me to be a happy Mother and wife, I have to continue on with my passions. Aaaand sometimes these passions send me on trips. While I still get sad about leaving my family behind, I also look forward to sharing the adventures with my children. The pictures that I’ll show and the stories that I’ll tell will let them know that their Mama was and is a rockstar. I want my daughters to know that you can be a Mother AND travel, explore and be passionate about anything.
Many people seem to think life ends after you have a baby. When you’re pregnant, they tell you to “have fun now.” They assume that Motherhood will consume so much of you that you will get lost. This happens to many of us. Some mamas don’t mind. But I will try so hard to not feel bad for wanting the best of both worlds.
Motherhood is the most treasured gift I could have ever asked for. It’s an endless job that I take so much pride in. My life’s goal is to be a supportive and loving Mother. But hey, Mama has to have a life too, right?
Yezzz! I’m writing about some similar things in my blog post for next week, Brittany. Bit by bit, we struggle with it, but we HAVE to teach ourselves AND THEM how to be independent of us. That doesn’t stop us from feeling the pain of separation and the worry about someone else not doing it right (meaning our way), but these are steps we both must take. ♥ for you, friend!
Love this! For so many reasons I. Love. This! And the line: “My heart got bigger but my passions didn’t get smaller.”? So perfect. I’ve been struggling with mom guilt lately, too…