Visiting your healthcare team can feel overwhelming, but it’s important to feel empowered and prepared. Understanding essential women’s healthcare tips can help you take control of your appointments and get the most out of your care. From communication to advocacy, these tips will ensure you feel confident during every visit.
So many factors go into deciding on an obstetrician, gynecologist, midwife, nurse practitioner, or women’s healthcare team. Financial reasons, social reasons, proximity reasons, care standard reasons, personality, and more! Those reasons are yours and can change at different stages of life. Knowing that it is okay to change healthcare providers, have options or get second opinions is what makes women’s healthcare great and challenges its providers to be their best! In Central Florida, we are fortunate to have a vast variety of different hospitals, birthing centers, and care providers for your gynecological and birth needs. There is always someone out there for you.
Communicate & advocate
Remember YOU are the patient. YOU are the consumer. YOU are your own best advocate in women’s healthcare!
Write down your questions, things you’d like explained, or other options you’d like their medical opinion on (regarding your health) ahead of the appointment. It’s easy to forget, get overwhelmed, or freeze up during your appointment time. Writing things down ahead of time can ensure that you leave with answers.
Tell your medical provider your worries, fears, anxieties, and history. I realize that’s a big open door, so really disclose the pertinent things that apply to this visit’s specialty. For example, if you are scared something will hurt, mention that before the exam starts so you can have a discussion on how to move forward safely. If there is a way to make you feel more comfortable, your provider and staff want to accommodate that as best they can.
All healthcare appointments should always be a safe, judgment-free space. If you have a history of trauma, injury, or abuse, it is best to notate that somewhere on the intake form and/or tell the nurse or medical provider prior to any exam. For patients with a history of trauma (capital T or little t trauma), verbal, physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse, it is incredibly helpful for your women’s healthcare provider to know that history (you do NOT have to go into detail or discuss what happened). They can come up with solutions/options for how or when to perform a certain type of exam or ask certain questions when you are ready. Additionally, they can make sure you leave with the correct resources to continue (or start) your healing journey through qualified therapies, such as mental health or pelvic health therapies.
Granted, all sexual health and vulvar/vaginal health providers should practice with trauma-informed care standards. Your healthcare providers should want you to be and feel safe and comfortable in their care 100% of the time.
Consent and control during your exam
You are in charge of your body. At any time during an exam or assessment, consent should be a continuous conversation. Before your annual (pelvic wellness) exam, you’ll likely sign written consent for the assessment and palpation of anatomical structures in the pelvic region. During the examination, it is best practice for that provider to ask before touching a sensitive area and/or alert you where their hands and fingers are going to palpate and why. This can help decrease anxiety, educate you about your anatomy, and make you a more informed patient in women’s healthcare.
On that same note, ask your provider to narrate the entire exam, their findings, and why/what they are doing (they should be doing this anyway, but if they don’t—ask them!). Many times, knowing what is happening or about to happen will calm any nerves around the ‘unknown’ of the exam.
For patients with pelvic pain
Pre-speculum exam or vaginal ultrasound, ask if you can have a few moments to prep/breathe for the exam. (Note: some pelvic pain patients wish to use their dilators or pelvic wand prior to the examination to help them get ready. Please only use dilators, pelvic wands, and other pelvic floor tools under the guidance of your pelvic floor physical or occupational therapist directions. If you need access to a pelvic health physical therapist—seek one out!)
You may ask to use a pediatric or smaller-sized speculum. It’s allowed! Did you know you can also ask to help place it at the vaginal opening?
You can also ask to be in a different position for your speculum exam/pap smear. Some patients get too tense in the routine supine lithotomy position. So, laying on your side (possibly how you labored or gave birth) can be a good option for some folks.
Things NOT to Worry About
- Pubic hair: Zero healthcare providers care about how much or little pubic hair you have. They do care if you have infections of ingrown hairs, rashes, or other dermatological issues on the outside of your vulva. Make sure to report vulvar dermatological concerns to your healthcare provider so you can get the appropriate referral to a specialist or get treatment.
- Leg hair and/or nail polish/feet: Again, ZERO providers worry or care about leg hair or if/when you last shaved. Same goes for toenail polish. I will make no apologies for my Florida flip-flopped feet!
- Showering before the exam: Discharge is normal. Odor is normal. That being said, if your discharge is not clear, white, or light yellow, or if you have an unfamiliar odor, discuss this with your women’s healthcare provider.
Taking charge of your women’s healthcare experience is all about empowerment, communication, and being informed. Whether it’s your first visit or a regular check-up, knowing what to expect and how to advocate for yourself can make all the difference. Your healthcare team is there to support you, and understanding that you are in control ensures that you receive the best possible care. Don’t hesitate to ask questions, voice concerns, or request accommodations — your comfort and well-being should always come first. Remember, you deserve a healthcare experience where you feel safe, heard, and respected.
