I want to share a survey with you, mama, that stopped me in the middle of my morning coffee this week. Not because it was shocking — but because it was clarifying.
A new study by Talker Research, commissioned by Home Instead (an Honor company that provides in-home care for older adults), polled 1,000 adults 65+ and 1,000 caregivers of older adults to dig into how aging Americans actually practice self-care. And the headline finding made me laugh out loud and then immediately get serious:
58% of older adults and caregivers agree that older Americans take better care of themselves than younger generations.
Older Americans. Take better care of themselves. Than us.
And honestly? Reading the full results, I had to admit — they’re not wrong. They might be teaching us something we forgot how to do.
What Self-Care Actually Looks Like in Older Adults -Per the Survey
According to the research, 90% of older adults feel self-care has a positive impact on their day-to-day lifestyle. For many of them, self-care looks like:
- Taking walks (65%)
- Watching shows and movies (54%)
- Meeting up with loved ones (51%)
- Getting their hair cut or styled (45%)
- Shaving or general grooming (41%)
- Completing a skincare routine (28%)
Notice what’s NOT on that list? “Booking the perfect retreat.” “Buying the trending wellness gadget.” “Optimizing the supplement stack.” “Finding the right wearable to measure your sleep.”
The self-care our grandmothers and grandfathers are practicing is radically simple. A walk. A movie. A friend on the porch. A haircut. Lotion on. Smile in the mirror. Out the door.
That’s it. That’s the whole thing.
A Quick Reframe From My IIN Days
This is where my Institute for Integrative Nutrition training comes back into the conversation. At IIN, they teach a concept called “primary food” — the idea that the most nourishing parts of your wellness aren’t on a plate. They’re your relationships, your career, your spirituality, your movement, your joy. Your life.
So when 51% of older adults say “meeting up with loved ones” is part of their self-care? That’s primary food. When they’re walking every day (65%)? Primary food. When they put on a clean shirt and a swipe of lipstick because they “feel better that way”? Primary food. When they get their hair cut just because? Primary food.
We have spent the last 10 years as a culture commodifying self-care into something you can buy. But the data here is screaming what IIN taught me back in 2019 — the real stuff is free, simple, and rooted in feeling like yourself.
The Quote That Made Me Cry a Little
Dr. Lakelyn Eichenberger, gerontologist at Home Instead, said this in the survey announcement:
“Self-care isn’t about vanity — it’s about identity. As we age, maintaining everyday routines like grooming, getting dressed or preparing for the day can have a meaningful impact on confidence, dignity and emotional wellbeing.”
Identity, not vanity.
That single sentence is going on a sticky note next to my bathroom mirror.
How many times have I, as a mom in my 40s — knee-deep in school pickups, baseball tournaments, perimenopause, and a calendar that’s punching back — skipped the small grooming things because I was “too busy”? Skipped the haircut. Skipped the moisturizer. Skipped the lipstick. Wore the same workout shirt for the third day because nobody was looking?
Our elders are doing the very thing I keep abandoning. And they’re happier for it.
The survey backed that up: people who regularly practice self-care are happier than those who do so less often (67% vs. 40%). That’s a 27-point happiness gap. Not from a vacation. Not from a luxury. From consistent, daily, small acts of caring for yourself.
What Caregivers See Up Close
This part is going to hit anyone in the sandwich generation — those of us simultaneously raising kids and watching the older adults in our lives age. The caregiver side of the survey is full of moments that will wreck you:
- 71% of caregivers said the older adults they care for regularly engage in general self-care
- 57% said they regularly engage in grooming practices
- 92% of caregivers feel a deep sense of pride when they see their clients embrace grooming and self-care
- 91% said “there’s no greater joy than seeing them feel comfortable in their own skin”
- 86% said spending self-care time with older adults has made them feel closer
- 88% said they enjoy helping with these moments
- 63% said it’s the best part of their day
Let that settle. Helping someone shave. Helping someone brush their hair. Helping someone put on lotion. Sixty-three percent of caregivers consider it the BEST part of their day.
Because the act of caring for someone’s appearance is really an act of saying: you still matter. You are still here. You are still you.
And from the older adult’s side? Practicing grooming made them feel:
- Prouder of their appearance (53%)
- More like themselves (44%)
- More confident (43%)
- More positive about life (33%)
- More independent (31%)
“More like themselves.” That phrase is the whole game.
The Big Lesson for Tired Moms in Their 40s
If you’re reading this right now and you’ve been low-key skipping self-care for weeks — months — maybe years — let me tell you what I take from this study as both a midlife mom AND an IIN grad:
The little things ARE the wellness plan. They are not the warm-up to the wellness plan. They are not the thing you do once you have time. They are not what you splurge on when the kids are older. They are the actual practice. Today. Tomorrow. Every day.
A walk. A clean shirt. A face washed. SPF on. A real meal. A friend on the phone. Lipstick if you want it. Hair brushed. A few deep breaths on the back patio. A bedtime that’s actually a bedtime.
The data says THIS is what makes our elders happier than us. Not because they have less to do — most of them came up in a generation that worked HARDER than us. They have more time now, sure. But more than that, they have clarity about what nourishes a human life.
We could learn a lot from them.
More Self-Care on Orlando Mom Worth Bookmarking
If this article hit you somewhere tender (same), keep going. A few of my favorite self-care reads here on Orlando Mom to layer into your week:
- Sun Protection: What You Need to Know — start with the easiest, most powerful daily wellness habit Florida moms can build.
- Our mom wellness and mental health articles — for the mom who needs reminders that taking care of herself isn’t selfish.
- Our midlife and perimenopause content — because so many of us are navigating this transition without enough information or support.
- Our mom date night and friendship roundups — because connection IS self-care (and the survey just proved it).
- Our Ultimate Guide to Summer — for the family fun that doubles as nervous-system care.
I’m always going to keep writing about this stuff because I genuinely believe it’s the most important content on this site. The kid-friendly things are great. The local events are great. But the YOU stuff? The taking-care-of-yourself stuff? That’s the foundation underneath all of it.
Beauty + Self-Care Tips From the Survey’s Wisest Voices
I want to leave you with the actual tips that older adults shared in the survey when asked for their beauty/grooming wisdom. Print these out. Tape them to the mirror.
- “No matter your age, older adult or not, take good care of your teeth so you can always feel like smiling.”
- “Walk every day.”
- “A good haircut can do wonders.”
- “Always stay clean-shaven and bathed.”
- “Use daily moisturizer and sunscreen.”
- “Stay active and hydrated and use products appropriate for your skin type.”
- “Never skip the grooming, even if you are staying home that day. Dress up, wear makeup, look your best because it will make you feel great/better.”
- “Put ‘bling’ combs in your hair.” (Yes, ma’am. Bling combs forever.)
- “Get outside and into the sun. Soaking up some sunshine does wonders.”
That last one. Get outside. Sunshine. In Central Florida, we are swimming in that resource. Use it.
A Final Word From One Tired Midlife Mom to Another
If our grandmothers and the older adults in our lives can keep showing up for themselves with a daily walk and a clean face and a lipstick they like — so can we, mama.
The wellness industry has us convinced we need to optimize our way into feeling good. The data says otherwise. The data says: walk. Wash your face. Put on a clean shirt. Call your friend. Get a haircut. Sit in the sun. Be a person.
That’s it. That’s the whole thing.
Let’s borrow some wisdom from the generation that’s already figured it out. And let’s go put a little bling in our hair while we’re at it.
Research methodology: Talker Research surveyed 1,000 older adults (65+) and 1,000 caregivers of older adults from the U.S. and Canada with internet access; the survey was commissioned by Home Instead and conducted online between March 25 and April 6, 2026.
